Reading
'Bringing Out The Dead" by Joe Connelly
(it's been a slow reading month)

In My CD Player
"Going For The One" by YES
"Small Change" by Tom Waits
Also, a couple of CD's that were bestowed upon me...more on that later.

Movies I've Seen
"Anger Management" I'll watch anything with Jack Nicholson and usually
anything with Adam Sandler.
"Dreamcatcher" ummmm...well....I read the book first - 'nuff sed.

Latest Thoughts

Wow. I did my first house concert. It's funny because there are so many
artists who have done tons of them, along with hundreds of cafe's, clubs and festivals. I'm definitely late in the game. Performing live has never been my first choice of pursuits.

I was not nervous approaching this. Then again, I've never been nervous
getting onto a stage. I've never known why. I just do not get pre-show
jitters. I usually get very very tired right before a show. I think it may be
my body's way of conserving the energy it knows will be required to get
through the performance. A strange thing happened to me at this house concert though. Once I got up there and started playing, it was as if I'd never played a note in my life and I've just come to dupe all of these wonderful, paying listeners. I was stricken with a most unfamiliar and altogether unpleasant sensation of incompetence. Usually, if I feel any sense of insecurity, it goes away within a very short period of time. This time however, I was still feeling like a schlub more than half way through the show. Mediocrity was all over me like a cheap suit. My left hand had gone numb and my entire body was shivering uncontrollably. I thought it was just that the heat wasn't turned on, until I saw everyone else in the room fanning themselves and glistening with sweat. That's when I realized, "I'm not cold - I'm having a heart attack". I wanted desperately to bug out on the grounds of insanity - or incontinence - or SOMETHING.

Eventually, I settled into something you might call a groove but that's being a bit generous.
On the other hand, the experience was unbelievable. I spend so much of my time being Auntie Social (there's a very good reason for the name), that I find myself missing the company of intelligent, funny people. I really do have a serious Howard Hughes/Greta Garbo thing going on here, so my daily intake of stimulation is relegated to watching my fat cats' nails grow.

So after singing for about 70 minutes or so, it was completely rewarding to just talk to people. And happily, I didn't suffer a heart attack. It was something more like an "art" attack.

Click on an image below to enlarge

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