MANY WORLDS ( September 2001)

In my CD player
"Faces, Traces and Timelines" Kathleen Michaels (Ms. Michaels has a nifty website - www.kmichaels.com)
"Keraunograph" Henry Warwick
"Drumgirls" (upcoming release) Amanda Homi

In My VCR
"Die Hard"
"The Sound of Music"
"Gormenghast"
Many, many cat hairs.

Reading
"Lord of the Rings" (still) J. R.R. Tolkien
"The Nature of Personal Reality"(again) Jane Roberts

Latest Thoughts

Everyone's lives have been, and will continue to be altered to varying degrees. The following story is in no way intended to trivialize the suffering of those who've lost loved ones in the tragedies of the WTC, Pentagon and Airliner crash in PA. This is simply an account of where I was and what I saw that day. There are thousands of people who are in mourning as I write this. I mean no disrespect in the telling of my personal experience of this event.

9/11/01
I woke up at 8:30 in the East Village (about 12 blocks south of 14th St.). I shuffled out into the lounge of the recording studio, where I made my coffee and proceeded, as I usually do, to the Live Room. I sat in the big, open window on the 4th floor facing Avenue A. The view is very nice.....you can see the World Trade Center among other things. My attention was immediately drawn to a blind woman on the street, who was sitting on the cement sidewalk, eating her McDonald's breakfast.

What struck me about this woman was that she was so carefree about eating her take-out on the filthy sidewalk, seeing absolutely nothing and no one. Then I noticed she was systematically dropping her wrappers on the ground as she finished each piece of food. I suddenly felt betrayed. I squelched the impulsion to yell out the window, "Hey!! Blind Lady! Pick up your garbage!". I'm glad I did because her littering seems very insignificant right now.

I heard a bang during my Blind Lady Eats Micky D's -TV. I thought nothing of it because in New York, you hear loud bangs all of the time. You do tend to get desensitized. I thought someone had slammed a dumpster lid down. So I went to get a second cup of coffee and came back to my window, hoping to get another glimpse of Ms. "NY Is My Personal Dump". I was disappointed to see that she had indeed left her campgrounds with all of her rubbish still there. - B A N G - Another loud sound....VERY loud sound......like a large transformer blowing- only bigger. My spleen felt this one. A flock of pigeons simultaneously flew out from their perches on a building across the street. At that time, I thought it a poetic sight. Then I heard someone yelp on the street below. I looked down and saw a woman looking up, pointing. I looked where she was looking.
That's when I saw, right in front of me, the World Trade Center engulfed in the largest, orange flames I'd ever seen. The smoke was the color of tar and spiraled upward like black licorice. I instantly surmised that a bomb had gone off but..........both towers were on fire...at different floors...how is that possible? I ran into the other room and got my Sweetie. We ran onto the roof of the building and saw more distinctly, the destruction. It was terrifying. Clearly, there was catastrophic damage to multiple floors. We both immediately knew that hundreds of people on the highest floors, would not be able to get past the obliterated sections of the buildings. He took pictures. We ran back downstairs to turn on the news. That's when we learned that 2 jets had flown into the buildings (at the time, they didn't know it was deliberate). It had happened right in front of me and I happened to be looking down at the time. The horrible details began unfolding from there.

We went back upstairs to watch from the rooftop. Debris and papers were still flying out of the gaping holes in the buildings. We later learned that it was more than debris and papers. To our astonishment, Tower Two suddenly starting collapsing. I found myself lurching forward with my hands held out, as if I could catch the falling structure in my arms. You could hear shrieks of horror from the streets, rooftops and windows. My hand slapped instinctively over my mouth to muffle my futile "OH MY GOD" 䴝s. A man in a neighboring window was sobbing - no............wailing. That's when I let loose and cried. My love and I watched as that building crumbled on what we knew would be thousands of people. I'd never felt so powerless in my life.

We literally staggered down the stairs, back to the television to see what CNN was reporting. Very little was known or confirmed, but the loss of life was evident. As the videotapes of the second airliner collision started finding their way to CNN's newsroom, we went back to the roof. In the sliver of Manhattan Real Estate, where Tower Two stood moments ago, was now a vast plume of chalky gray dust. It rose higher than the burning skyscraper to its side. We examined what looked like the "tear" through the middle of the remaining structure for a while. We turned to each other and agreed almost simultaneously that this building was going to come down too. You could see that the support structure was badly compromised and the jet fuel was burning at an intensity that no construction could withstand. Just as we were saying these words, the second tower began collapsing. The horror happened like the worst deja-vu you could ever imagine. In seconds, both Towers were a memory.

We went downstairs. It took an eternity.

We spent the rest of the day trying to get through to people who were worried about us and watching CNN - I presume, very much like the rest of the folks in Manhattan. It's only after-the-fact that we begin to realize how many worried families would wait to hear only silence coming from their phones as the day turned into night.

That afternoon I went out to get some supplies because it was clear that most restaurants would be closed. There were still hoards of people walking slowly home from the Downtown area, some with dust all over them. Lines had formed in every corner Deli. Everyone was buying supplies for an unseeable, probable future.

I had planned on leaving New York to go home that evening. That wasn't possible. I went home the following day. The streets had been closed to all incoming traffic below 14th St and getting out was a guessing game. At least I got out.

I'm sorry. Oh man, am I truly sorry for the mothers, husbands, wives, sons, daughters, lovers....everyone. There is a lot of pain to deal with here and I know it will touch everyone - in ways we cannot possible see just yet.

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