MANY WORLDS ( February 2001)

In my CD player
"The Songs of Distant Earth" Michael Oldfield

Reading
"Gravity" Tess Gerristen
"Hot Zone" Richard Preston
"Hannibal" Thomas Harri
"Executive Orders" Tom Clancy

Movies I've just seen
"What Women Want"
"Hollow Man" (kill me PLEASE)
"Steel Magnolias" (Olympia Dukakis rules)
"Silence of the Lambs" Criterion version

CD-ROM GAMES
"Grim Fandango"
"X-Files"

Latest Thoughts
I'm going to let you all in on something. Don't be afraid. Leave that to me. Lately I'm realizing that I probably won't be doing much live performance anymore. I know, you're saying, "and that would be different from usual because....?"

Well at least in the past, I've left myself open to the notion of touring or just playing around my area, assuming there was money to do that. Things are so different now. The ageism that's pervaded the music industry has really narrowed opportunities. It has also opened a lot of doors for Independent artists, of which, I am certainly one. But one really needs to be resourceful and passionate enough to research and follow-up all avenues of opportunity. For example, if you want to play gigs, you have to find places to play, send out promotional materials and CD's, call repeatedly and hope they like you. If you don't sound like the kind of artist that'll attract a "drinking" crowd, your chances are slimmer. Or you can try to get a booking agent to do that FOR you. In that case, you have to find a list of agents, send out promotional materials and CD's, call repeatedly and hope they call you back. Getting a booking agent is one of the harder objectives in this business. At any rate, none of this need be an obstacle if you're passionate. I am not so sure I want to do that. I've never had the "go out and gettum" that is necessary for this job. I just like to create. I like to make something from nothing. I like giving people a place to go. Performing can do that too. To me though, it's secondary to the creation. It isn't less valid. It's just not where my energy is strongest. It amazes me that I have so many peers who are still struggling to make this music thing work. It saddens me. There comes a point when we all look at our lives and think, "Am I going to be doing this when I'm 60?".

There is a standing joke a friend and I have that when I am 80 years old, I'll be in a smoky lounge somewhere in The Catskills, leaning on a piano with a cigarette in one hand and a scotch in the other, singing in a raspy, monotoned wheeze, "........Yooll fi-end meee, for-evuh innnnnn hi...(hack cough sputter) ...........deeeng" "Thank you, you kids've been great......I'll be here every (hack) Thursday night."

I will probably always make music. I guess I just wish I could know what it's like to have Medical and Dental insurance. That way, at least my false teeth wouldn't fall into my scotch when I hit the high notes in "Would That I Could" in that smoky bar.

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